between the lines

But there weren't any. And I knew that there couldn't be. Still, I wondered what it would be like. To know you in a way that was real. A way that existed outside the spaces. Outside the lines you so had so carefully drawn. I wanted to expand. To explore. Not be kept inside. Locked away for blocks of time. Freed for a day. A few hours at most. To throw me off track. To answer my questions. To whisper. To reassure me. To calm me down. To win me over. To coax me back into the box. Back inside. It's not as comfortable as before. But. I'll stay, nice and quiet. I'll endure the darkness and keep it all inside. Hidden in my mind. All for that one moment of freedom. The one that feels real. The one that hurts most when I'm back inside. Free to wonder. To argue. To doubt. To break To continue the cycle. free.