Rewind

I'm not quite sure who I think I am at the moment. I was. But now comes uncertainty. Why? Well, that's not really important. But figuring out what's changed is. I'll do that eventually. Ah, the black book confirms it. Nothing. This is going to be empty again. As was the bucket. But it was so nicely decorated that it at least forced a smile, therefore defeating it's purpose. It was fake anyway. If you could only see me now. Or a few hours ago. I suppose that would be enough. What doesn't exist would be nice. A nice little treat. Something about a blue castle. Quite nice though. But even that required a bit of time, some getting used to and a little change. Chance would apply there too. I don't know what I'm trying to convince myself of. Whatever happened to distractions? Those were nice, but they aren't doing their job anymore. Today. Today I counted money. And filled out a bunch of paper. Counting is one thing I'm always unsure about. It's ridiculously hard for me to not count something twice to make sure I haven't made a mistake. I'm too precautious. Or maybe it's something more. Scary thought. But I do check to make sure my alarm is set at least 3 times. I should try getting used to only once. But what if something went wrong. There. I worry too much. Too much of everything. But I'm usually fine. It's strange. Little things affect me again. In small doses. Just little upsets. That's it. Why does everyone seem immune to this. My english teachers would hate me. They were always telling me that I used too many "vague pronouns". Oh well. That's how I work. This week was a bit amusing.
1. The boss' face when she came down to see everyone singing happy birthday and seeing cupcakes. Ah, yes. Quite worth the task.
2. The older brother coming home for a visit because he was passing by. Smile worthy indeed.
3. Endless weekend shift wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Service did not wear me down after four full days. But then it gets extended to BB for days and some other thing for 2 more days. Ah... Endless 8 shifts in a row week. Lovely. But then it will be "The Great Camping Trip". It will be nothing less than great. Despite the weather forcast with it's constant "Chance of Showers". I hate them. They're always wrong. I MAY consider removing the hate spell breifly if they would pass on some good weather for a few days starting....Friday the 24th.. and possibly staying until Sunday the 26th. Yes, I would like that very much. Here I go again. Extending #3 on the list. I feel bad for the last one on the list. Because it usually gets burdened with a rant about something that usually has nothing to do with the topic. Hmmm.. yep. I pass this one. Quite well. My room is still white. However, the ceiling is some shade of extremely light beige. Enough to prevent me from going crazy as all my furniture is white. And of course, the blind is as well. Luckily, the floors are saved. I want my room back. I have to walk down 3 stairs to get to most of it. Usually in the dark. Which usually ends up with some sort of clumsy klutzy thing. It just happens naturally with me. Yes, feeling better now. Do I want to know what's going on? Yes. Will I? No. That's the way it will be with this. I do hope that Koper is sighing at my lack of english grammar skills. That would possibly make my night. I'm not sunburnt yet. And hopefully I'll be at service tomorrow. Yep, you heard me right. I actually want to this time. Because it'll go by faster and I won't have to deal with nc*. : )

*Not to be confused with 'nic' Jason. And yes, ic. But I won't subtly underline all ic. Because that would be too many lines. That is all.

until later.