Missing: Blue

I scowl less often. But I make twice as many faces. It's more fun. I'm still paranoid. Even more than before.. I think. I'm still afraid of connections. Making connections. Trusting people. That's a hard one. I still wonder what would have happened if you went another way. Would you be happy? Are you still as carefree, caring and innocent as you once were? I guess I'll never know. That ended quickly. And another. I wish that you would have made a little effort. Just enough to show that you cared. So it wouldn't tear us apart even more. But you're not the same anymore. You don't care about the same things. Or people for that matter. But I hope that you're happy being used. I refuse to participate in that act. And. Thanks for the smiles. The connection you didn't have to make. The memories that you created. For putting up with us. And. I miss the nothings. The nothing traditions. It didn't matter that my mind wandered at times. I miss the parking lot. In the cold. I feel disconnected. I feel 0.3333. You're the last one. Really. The one with the links. The smiles and arguments. But I quit traditions. And. Thanks for making fun of me. Breaking the ice. That helped. Yet there's still one attached regret. I guess I'll never know now. You're too far away. And. I hope you're okay. And not lonely. I'm just glad you made it. Despite what it created for us. No. It was never the same. But. It's all worth it just seeing you there. Even if you can't see me. And. Thanks for being innocent. Innocent and little. I hope that you stay that way. Just for a little while longer. Keep your smiles and hugs. I'll remember you that way. And. Acceptance. Not like the first. Enough for a change. A needed change. And finally. For going back. For staying. For not caring what passing people would think. For just knowing. Everything. Thank you.

This time, I can only hope for nothing.