I miss not thinking about the future. because now it comes up way too often. never having to worry about how long things would last.
today:
1. i'm starting to feel like my job should be colour coding things for people. white beige yellow orange pink red purple blue green brown grey black.
2. i did not complete #57 it was too hard.
3. i discovered that i'm not as confused as i convinced myself to be. i don't even think that makes sense. but it's not confusing.
4. i'm really bad at making lists. i just like putting numbers because it makes it seem like there's order to these thoughts when really it's just random.
5. hopefully by now James has killed the spider and all is well... : )

i still can't do a cartwheel. and i still haven't touched my happy bucket since the incident with it. and i still have my yo yo. which my neighbor gave me and i still cant do that sleeping trick with it. hmmm... that's about it.

until later.

Well. now i know that certain things aren't a good idea.

1. walking down taschereau when it's cold and windy...
2. not getting much sleep.

i'm stuck with some kind of a headache agaiiin. but i won't miss everlea tomorrow. I wish things could be simpler. My head feels like it's too full of everything. everything I overthink. I do that a lot.. would it really be a lot better if no one was able to lie? I'm not sure. anyway i don't think i'm "blogging" correctly. so I'll end it here.

until later.

well. DISA is officially over. which is kind of sad because this semester was the most fun we've had. somehow it still doesn't seem real. and i still feel stuck in between. I wish it was warmer out. I wish time could go on longer. just long enough to say what i need to say. and then it could speed up again. but i suppose that that won't happen. So now:

1. i have a headache.
2. dance is soon and i don't feel like it tonight.
3. i'm not sure of anything at the moment.

i wish it would rain and be nice at the same time. not as cold. but still rainy. its nice. im not sure why.

until later.

well, well, well. it looks like i may be eating my words. of course blink is going to play at bell centre. OF COURSE. so now in my attempts to see them at least three times i am obliged to go to bell centre. but that's okay, because they were my one exception.

last night was the exhibition and it went quite well, even though we got bored of it halfway through. I suppose we could have walked around some more but you can only walk through the same hallway so many times (especially with draped cloth creating a maze in the halls..).

1. we acted pretentious and artsy. including a purebred husky named Gustav..
2. i think too much. i overthink too much. all the time. i can't help it.
3. alcohol turns strangers into creeps.
4. spontaneous.

- - -

patience. birth. butterflies. red. pause. waiting.

bruise. eyes. smile. purple. little. collapse. waiting.

dirt. blue. quiet. paranoid. secrets. waiting.

stop. bloodshot. turn. distract. turn. waiting.

here. one. fake. quiet. quiet. quiet. waiting. gone.

- -

i'm not quite sure where this really ends.

until later.

mmk. end of semester time.
the only thing i'm the slightest bit worried about is that my animation won't work tomorrow morning in the critique because i didn't use iMovie. Ew.. It's like the Bell Centre. I hate them both. Won't use iMovie, won't ever go to Bell Centre. scowl.

1. i like to wish on 11:11. i'm not sure if they come true or not
2. don't ask me what i wish for it's rather silly and little.
3. i used to wish on "first stars" when i was little.. and i'd save them up and have half wishes. silly. silly. but then, everything could happen
4. i miss the secret tree
5. they cut it so it was more open and destroyed the secretness.
6. i think that nighttime is the prettiest time. but i won't go outside and take a walk to enjoy it because i'm afraid.
7. i'm afraid of everything, especially night things.
8. this numbering thing makes no sense by this point

sometimes, i think that certain things are a sign. but how should i know if they are or not. they're so vague. today. vague. confusing. there's still time. i think. well. i hope. but i'm not sure if time will solve anything. i guess time can only change what really is supposed to change.

I hate S.Darko. I hate it so much. so so much. I also find it weird to use capitals. i like periods but not capitals. they're strange. but sometimes i force myself to use them. S. Darko isn't an "hommage" or a "tribute". they copied the whole movie. urghh. and they don't even see it as a bad thing. you just can't modernize a classic like Donnie D. Never. or at least not yet. and not in such a horribly gross way. it never needed a sequel.

1. i don't like change.
2. i don't like to be wrong. well when i know that i'm right.

on a final note. blink is touring with fall out boy and weezer. i'm not sure what to think of that.

until later.