Shift

What if.
What if I.
I can't. I won't.
But if. just if. if I did.
It would spiral out of control. I would. I wouldn't run. Not this time. Not from all of this. From you. From what made you.. you. This time I can't hide. Hide away the fears. the worries. the constant murmurs in my head. the powerful. the endless debates. This time. I will let them out. Let them test the waters. See how deep they can take me. into this mess. above my head. above ours. bigger than me. bigger than us. bigger than I'd like to believe. only. if I do. if I did. I wouldn't find a way out. a way up. a way back. a way to mend all of this. any of this. I couldn't. Not this time. Not if I did.
So I won't. I'll straighten my edges. quiet the voices. the truths. the many tales. and run. far from the waves. just far enough to keep my place.
But if. just if. if I did.
Would you listen?