Scattered.

What once was. What was once. Once innocent and exact. Exactly at the right moments. Exactly what I needed. then. I needed you. For you to be there. To fill the gaps. To erase it all. Replace it all. Mostly. I needed you to listen. To believe me. To believe in me. To support me. To help me forget. That was the biggest one. The one I couldn't seem to manage. I couldn't forget. Move forward. Stuck in place. In that constant state of rewind. Rewind, try again, Rewind, Stop. Fast forward. Move forward. Slowly. Slower than most. Surely I would. Move. You were certain of it. You believed in me. You supported me. Until. Until you too fell back. You too felt the rewind. Only. You were different. Different times. Places. Moments. Moments that opened up. Moments that kept opening. Kept tearing. Kept ripping open. Opening doors that should have been bolted shut. Bursting open. Until. Until I too fell back. Not that I was surprised. I was always unbalanced. Balancing everything and you. Didn't quite work. Never worked. Never to work. Despite all thoughts. All blanks. All sources of red. All sources of frustration. Of despair. Of broken. Unbalanced and replaced. Despite all words. Despite all thoughts. But that was once. What once was.

I'm still unbalanced.

I'm still open.

But I'm not broken. Not covered in red. Covered in thoughts. Images. Memories.Gone. Gone are those strings. However they were attached. Gone are those strands of hope. I quietly let them float away. Away to be safe. Away to be right. However wrong it may have seemed. Only now. Now I don't need you. I simply miss you. You. You who supported me. Who believed in me. Who sometimes remembers. Who I haven't forgotten. Who was caught. Who tripped. Fell. Couldn't help it. Couldn't help me. Me who was once. Closer to you. But that was once. What once was.

And I miss it.