Mirrored

I never thought I would cross over to the other side. Your side. I never expected to be in that same situation without being the victim. It's strange how it all makes sense now. How everything falls into place when the world is seen from another perspective. Only, now there are even more lingering pieces. Each one crying out for an explanation. An explanation that can't be reached. There are too many new and uncomfortable blocks lying in the way. Attempting to hide everything and anything. Nothing can hide the fact that the natural and comforting will easily disappear, leaving confined and forced in it's place. The two that cannot be pushed away.

Pieces

Well...today it finally sunk in that summer is indeed on it's way to an end. I suppose it's about time. If I could have a few more days, they would be strategically placed, resulting in halves and butterflies. Only, a few wouldn't be enough. I can only hope for endless. Endless smiles and worries. The inseparable duo. For now, I'll just enjoy the remaining days one at a time. All the while still hoping that there will be more chances, more moments and more time. . .
1. I have three years of my life documented in a journal. I would force myself to write in it every single day because I didn't want to forget any of it. I hated forgetting little things in the past years. It's strange to see the similarities between then and now. At least now I know where my paranoia comes from. My inability to trust people. No one is ever who they claim to be. I've always trusted the wrong people and then watched as their true intentions are spelled out for me. But which is worse, blindly trusting or expecting the worst?
2. It was perfect. Just long enough for me to appreciate how special it was. It doesn't seem fair that it was over before I could even realize how much I would miss it. It shouldn't be. I had no idea then that I would spend the next few years trying to put the pieces together. Trying to figure out what went wrong. Overanalyzing. Overthinking. My specialities. Why did everything have to fall apart as quickly as it came together? More repetition. I'm back to the same place as I was in eight years ago. Only. It's not quite the same. Little scars and memories won't leave my side. If only that were true for the rest. If only the attacks weren't quite so far apart.
3. Why are you so far away? Why do you insist on playing these games? Why can't you remember. Anything and everything. Everything that won't fit together anymore. Everything that goes through my mind. Everything that makes complete sense to you.