Separation

1. It shouldn't have been that easy. To slip away unnoticed. Separating the unsure and unstable just to find a way out. Nighttime fears pushed aside to make room for incoming worries and disappointments. It shouldn't have been that easy to erase all thoughts and just imagine. Pretend that all was well and that anything could happen. That only goes so far. Soon enough it's a game where failure is distant and unfamiliar. Success is just around the corner in the form of false smiles and warmth. For now, escape is the only option.

2. I wish that I could believe that everyone has some good in them. That the negative parts that I seem to see are exaggerated and hardly noticeable. Highly unlikely. Working in retail has made up my mind for me. One nasty comment can ruin my whole day and leave them with a sense of accomplishment. But of course, the customer is always right, so I must stand there and smile, wishing them a pleasant afternoon. Lovely. It's either that or building up meaningless bubbles of conversation. Exchanging 'hello how are you's without really expecting anything but a 'fine and yourself?'. Am I allowed to publicly have a bad day, or is that something that a retail robot has no knowledge of? It's all a routine that becomes automatic. A list of four phrases accompanied by stutters and stumbles when a change is presented. The ideal change is when you finally present yourself with a genuine smile and a caring attitude. Until then, I'll be waiting.